Friday, June 4, 2010

"ARE YOU READY FOR THE COUNTRY' (Neil Young)

Hullllooo Idyllwild...How am I ?? If ya really wanna know I’m still feelin like a toxic wasteland from my First Official Trip to ‘The Dump’.....Even Barry-la said I was looking a bit 'green around the gills'....what is goin on with this place??? Honestly..it was vile…a mile long stretch of Stink! Not to mention the car ride there…see..I don’t got no truck..just a nice Jeep Wrangler And even with All the lavender spray in the world..triple bagged and the back even opened..by the time I got there my head was pounding and I will leave out the gory details about how The Rest of my bod felt! And I Actually think I was cruised there..Yup…that this guy tried to be all chivalrous by offering to help me ..ie: I was being ‘picked up’..at The Dump’ yet!!!
A Lovely spot..a mile of garbage bins baking the the hot desert sun..I Just Cannot wait till it really is summer..Ooh La La..be still my beating heart..my loins are a burning!
No way I am going make it …I am definitely gonna have to break down & hire someone like the City Babe I am!!
And whaddya 'leech lines' have to do w/ my plumbing anyway …I thought ‘leeches’ were those slimey things that got caught onto you in the water of the Amazon or somethang? Now we have them In Idyllwild? & why is my apt starting to resemble an 'ant farm' I was growing in my Bronx apt in 7th grade as my science experiment for the fair..tho that was was contained!! This one Is Not! There is a time & a place for Everything...and the time & place for spiders & ants are not IN MY BED!! Thank you very much@@! Tho my cats seem to be having a field day..I am beginning to feel like a Mass Murderer..not exactly on Schindler's List Proportion's..but I also prided myself on 'Be Free little one...and letting them go outside..unless they were venemous or those vile will outlive us all thru The Bomb & all other Nukings just like my father… Roaches..no ..they should and do suffer under my hand! I have been spraying that big yellow bottle of poison free ant/roach/spider spay cuz I have animals..and cuz The last thing I need is more Toxic vapor to breathe in...and they're like ooohhh a swimming pool..look the idy arts pool opening early...then when they are done..they just towel them selves off on a whatever rag or pt I have been cleaning the other dead carcasses with & walk away!!lol
Why is it that civilized things like USPS or The Trash People cannot come to your house?? NO? All we get are ants, spider, racoons, a few people, fedex & ups@!(if they can find you that is!)

WELL..IT IS DAY FOUR AND I AM FINALLY DETOXED …UP & OUT…’Living In The Country’

OK...I have already given in to the Jap Choice of My Life.. Re: The Garbage Sitch…Hire Someone To Pick The Damn Shit Up!!!! No More Toxic Wasteland Illness for me ..Thank You Very Much..My System can Handle Quite a bit.,.but I guess due to My Dying From Mold In A Boring Bolingbrook Basement Experience…I simply cannot handle it… Normally…I am A Fighter…I am not one to give up easily… but I am Really, Really Over My Head Here Guys!!! Never Being Much of a Domestic Goddess…Cleaning..Re-arranging…Doing Laundry…has become a Daily Routine here…as I said ‘I think I’m going Japanese’ re: The Shoe Thang…cuz ‘Idyllwild is a Dirty, Dirty Little Place!!! Lol
Anyway…I have Never been much of a ‘Killer’ by Nature either.My Philosophy..(unless it was a Roach or A Killer Wasp/Bee..was just let it go it’s way and I’ll go mine…:) ) Nor was I a Bio major Geek who liked to Kill And/Or Collect Bugs, Create Ant or Spider Colonies ..I Always refused to catch and gas/suffocate those beautiful poor butterflies as a summer camp exercise then stick a pin through them and pin them to my wall as a trophy..how horrible…that was an exercise in sleep away camp..I used to pretend I missed all the time…that is probably why they let me kiss them during the earth fair! ( I told Joanne that story..she liked it & me a lot because of it…:) ) I am beginning to feel like one of The Bad Guys from ‘Schindler’s List’ Here or Somethang!!! I want them All Dead By Any Means Okaaayyy!!! I Know..Not being a ‘Country Girl’…I must be missing ‘somethang’…Somethang I Am Not Doing That I am Supposed To Be Doing..Or Something I Do Not Have Perhaps??? Maybe no one is telling The City Slicker just to see how long it’ll take her before she finds out by means of insanity or something!? Or Just Packs Up & Leaves??? Is That It??? Like when me and my Not then Nazi Ex-husband found these Amazing Camp ground…Yes..I used to go Camping A lot! It should have Definitely been full..it was Peak Season..but..it wasn’t..we were thrilled..and picked a prime spot right by The Lake…well..come dusk..we found out why…it was Black Fly Season…something that went Right Under The Radar of All My Citified Research ..and It was a F’in Nightmare!! Luckily…I Had done some research on B Vitamins..so we had the edge there..anything that bites..hates the smell of B Vits in your blood…but let me tell you..we had that Cutter’s shit up our nostrils and in our earlobes it was that bad! Yeh..real romantic night by The Lake! Nothing kept those f’ers out of that pup tent!

So right now..I am sitting in a lovely, remodeled, ground level studio..beautiful parkay floors..had to pull up all my rugs…Again…because…My Ant & Spider Families decided to Move from one side of the house to the other….doesn’t matter what I put down or spray…now I am trying a New Concoction of Lemon/Lime/Tea Tree & Oregano Oil ..as per some Health Food Expert/Nut online…couldn’t hurt right!? Oh..and BTW…I have about 20 or so Very Large Moths in here as well..So Whaddya Think about That ummm…??!! Clueless as to what to do…did not have this problem till just recently either…I lit some insence outside so it smells like a Friggin Yoga class or something! Not sure if it is affecting them tho…My Kitties seem to think this is All Fun & Games…chasing after them and pinning them to the ground and trying to eat them…maybe that is why they are now puking all over the house…the moths and the poisonous spiders perhaps!? Any suggestions???? I am sure you are gonna say a screen door..but I do not know how I could get in quick enough for that to help?? Then I am thinking of one of those Big Zapper Bulbs..but this light out here has a mind of it’s own and I simply cannot figure out How to get it to stay on..or off for that matter..and I think I would need one of those F’in Citronella Torches to be quite honest with you…which I am seriously thinking of getting…especially now that I just saw a few very Icky Spiders dangling in front of my door as well!!!!

Ok now this is just too much for this City Girl …really… I tried My Potion & Windex (Remember in that Fab movie..’My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ I think that was the title..I always get it confused..but I Do Remember It Had a Wonderful Happy Ending..Of Course..She Lost A Ton Of Weight…& Married The Gorgeous Thing Guy!! LOL..anyway..I digress…for a change..but it was Sooo cool..cuz in That Movie…Windex Was The Cure For All That Ailed You…Tho I don’t think they tried it on bugs…??)
on the Moths & then saw Something that was Not a Moth or a Spider not was it identifiable to me as Anything This girl had Ever seen before Okaayy!! But it was on My Wall & No Amount of Any Squirts of Anything killed it Thank You Very Much!! Until it just drowned..I think..unless it is under this Exercise Machine..who the F knows,…so I guess this Potion Just works for the Creepy Crawlers…I will attempt to Clean Once Again Tomorrow…& Spray these New Concoction along with..& Get this…spreading Cucumber Peels & Chalk…Ants Hate Chalk…Saw That One repeated more than once in a few Au Natural Pest Sites…I have forgotton, however, if these Tea Tree/Lemon Potion works for spiders as well…I am All Mischugana** (Crazed!) now…& Fahklemped (Confused) ***Oh Vey!!!! (OMG!) I think I should start posting bits & pieces of The Yiddish Dictionary in each of my blogs starting with the next one..there Really Are Yiddish Dictionaries…some funny…some serious…but they exist…
Anywaayyy…I will stop with this bug obsessing thang now…but suffice to say..I am ending this blog entry and eve with the most sensible solution I read, which is to leave on a ‘night light’ and under it a bowl of soapy water (?) that they will nose dive into at night ( if the cats don’t catch them 1st!?)

And..No..Not ALL Moths shed their Ugly Moth-ness & Become Beautific Monarch Butterflies Okaayyy..(Well..I haven’t Actually Googled That One But I will Fine!) Soooo…If I Do Not See At Least 5-10 of Those Beastly Carcasses Floating Belly Up…I’m taking my Kitties ‘Off The Hill’ to a Pet Friendly Motel With a Pool & a Casino..ie: We’re Gonna Run Away From Home Overnight…Down, Down & Awaaaayyyyy….Lol!!! So this way none of us will Die from the Noxious Fumes While my Lovely Idyllwild Suite is being Nuked With All Purpose RAID..F It All!!! LOL !!!!

Love You Guys…Let’s Do Brunch…Air Kisses..Mwah…Mwah…
The Jewess Goddess RA

Ps…One of the reason”s I am up so late (3am in Idy Town is Late Late Late!! Even on a Sat Nite!!) is cuz I am going into PD/PS on Sunday…Into Civilization!! LOL…So…All the thangs I have kinda ignored..forgotton about ‘up here on The Hill’ Must Be Remedied!! ASAP!!! Especially ‘The Nails’…I am Very Vulnerable Without ‘The Nails’…and I do mine myself..and I am scraping by here folks cuz Barry-la had to order mine and They Did Not Come In Yet…Okaaayyy!! This Is An Issue For Me!! But..I am working around it with my ‘Back-up Nails…We Will Survive…it has been worse! At least The Hair is ’Still Working’ and The Roots are done…at least for now! I Must Be Presentable for ‘My Public’..Hey…There Is Some ‘Serious MONAY down there People!!! Lol… and for all of you who know ’The Secret’…Money Attracts Money..Right…or at least…’Acting As If’!!! :) ‘Look It…Feel It..Be It”! Alrighty then…Here’s to some serious Shopping & Poolside R&R! Love You…Kisses …Brunch!

Oh & How can I forget to mention this ..I am going to a Casino..A Real Indian Casino!!! I could say it is my 1st experience..but I did stop at 1 in AZ on the way here..Clueless…Nevah..Evah having been in 1 before…I wanted to play the games with Dice ya know…I have ‘That Touch’ with the Di…but they didn’t have that…so I went in with a little…came out with nothing…don’t even know if it was a Indian one or not..but I Have Heard…that going now..in the beginning of the month…right after a Full Moon…Is Quite Good…So do wish me luck Ok..I will do some Creative Visualizations etc too 1st before I go in! :) I see myself going in with $10..maybe $20 dollars and coming out with $200! That would be fine..just fine! I am not greedy!

No comments:

Post a Comment