Hullooo Idyllwilders...
What do All Of The Above have to do with one another...not sure..maybe you can tell me? But thangs have been kinda bizarre in My World as of late...
So what am I eating & drinking tonight??
A newer Concoction for you Non Chocaholics..Vanilla Milk! :) (& for all you Dieter Conscious Folks out there):
Skim milk w/ ice, vanilla extract & a little equal..yummy..:)
It might sound 'weird' but I thought I might as well go w/ the flow..:)
For dinner...a relatively noveau brown rice combo..brown rice with sauteed red & green onions, garlic (tons! I do not think you can Evah have enough garlic!), ginger & bacon bits! Along w/ a glass of White Zin..it's All going down real good I must say! :)
Weird & Smelly: Waking up to find a 'septic tank' being dug In Front Of Your Kitchen Window!?
Weird & Scarey: My 'Coyote Ugly' experience wit The SK Kujo sound effects And
Finding out we Really Do have Mt. Lions up here..
I was just told a loverly story 'bout someone's 180lb dogs (6 or more he said) who were devored..actually dragged Over the compound's fences..by1 0r 2 our local 'Large Cats'.
And there's my purrfectly good Jeep Wrangler (automatic..isn't that pathetic?? but whaddya want from a gal who just Really just learned to drive in her 30's!? :) )
That was just overhauled...took me over 2300 miles w/ no problemas..and is now Squealing like a Stuffed Pig?? (I actually Nevah heard or eaten a 'stuffed pig', but it seemed like a good analogy:))
Even The Windows?!
Just Plain Weird: My Comedic sexual innuendo'ing onstage being considered 'Offensive'?' Offensive'..why cuz it's Broad Daylight & The Truth!
As the Great Carl Reiner said..'The only Good Comedy is The Truth'
I have been called Lots of Things in my Life...:)
But Never 'Offensive'.
I pride myself in my 'unedited' style...
In bringing outta the closet what others wish they could..but don't have the **chutzpah (cojones, nerve) to do so!
I can look in the mirror & laugh at myself..I couldn't live w/ myself otherwise.
I do not have to 'sit in the dark', hidden away in my home to laugh at The Truth.
And it saves me $1,000's in Therapy Bills..G_D knows I have paid enough dues in That Dept.
I consider it a strength To Be Able To Laugh At Life..Turn things around..'Tell it like it is'.
Anyone that 'knows me well' ..knows better not to ask for my 'opinion' unless they want my 'real' opinion..I tell people Right Up Front..I am not gonna lie to you but I won't rip ya to shreds either..but if you want me to tell you 'You Look Fabu' in some outfit that make you look like a Times Square Streetwalker..I ain't gonna do it. Period!
I spent waaay too much of my life having to Lie & Edit..& I feel I paid my dues in That Dept. as well..Thank you very much!
Is it wrong to say that 'I love Harley's because they are like 'The Black & Decker' of Vibrators...
once you get off that thing they don' have to 'Do' anything but you???
What female that has ridden of the back of her beau's bike doesn't 'Know' that?!
And what 6 year old kid is gonna 'get' that?
Am I right here of what?
Ya wanna know what's offensive..'Offensive' is what my friend and female in arms of comedy...Sarah Silverman..(who You All Know, right??) said about Poor Little Paris Hilton having to do some 'Real Jail Time'.
Paris Hilton..admittedly Paris is not one of my favs..a 'barnacle on Society' & a 'waste of space' as far as I am concerned..but to publicly humiliate her..when she is in the audience yet?!
Sarah said 'I think they should make the bars look like 'Pe...ses' so she feels more at home..but the poor thing might break her teeth on one'...or Something to that affect!
Now That is offensive..and the camera even panned to poor little Paris in the audience squirming in her seat while all her supposedly 'good friends' were hysterically laughing!?
I admit I would nevah say anything like that.. funny as it was...
However...I cannot Wait till I am famous enough to say .."You don't like my material..my act..who cares!
To be as well known & rich as Sarah being quote unquote..Offensive'!
Yeah..Bring it on!
The End
With love, light & laughter
The DB
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Just want to say, although I'm like 3 years later to the parteh that this is the best blog I've ever wrote. Dynamic, full of life and emotion as any awesome starlet's blog should be :)
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