The Discombobulated Tales of an Ex-New Yawk Babe

Aaahhh…Absinthe, + brown rice + beans w/ veggies… Vivaldi (well it was a toss up between that of Sir Pscyho Sexy + the rest of The Red Hot Chili Peppers..Still am a R&R Chick Okaayyy!!!) + an ice water chaser!
Not Exactly sure what Sherlock Holmes, Johhny Depp + the rest of our infamous Absinthe Drinkers ++ would think of My Combo Deluxe..but it works for me..Oh..I forgot I also have some ‘Killing Me Softly’ American Spirit ciggies along with some Camel’s as a back-up! Do I sound like some kinda atypical writer or what tonight! Yeh..so what..I am loving life…
Yeh ok..so I still ‘Indulge’..yeh ya gotta problem with that!? :) and I Tan too Hah! Even in Booths with Tan Amplifier shit all over my Body!! C’mon admit it…Everyone and Everything looks better Tan..even those ripples of Cellulite!

Well..I am admittedly celebrating…I moved..again..but got my own Drama-Free Place Finally…with The Universe’s Help of course….got my computer up + running Fantastically thanks to Francoise..’our computer helper on the hill’..so all is well in my world! I Am Connected!

But while having ‘The Blue Screen Of Death’ in my life for over 2 weeks…and dealing with Fatal Errors…having Dameon as my email returner, sorting out stuff with The Slave + Master Hard Drives, Having Trojan Horse or whatevah they are called..Infections…I had to begin wondering who the heck ARE Bill Gates + Steve Jobs..and What Exactly they do in Their spare time!? I am not sure if I would ever want to visit Their Rec Rooms!? And Especially Not their Basements!! I mean..talking about Hi Drama Here..with all this ‘Fatal’ stuff and ‘Blues Screens of Death’?! Not to mention all this S&M terminology?! And ‘Dameon’ (another name for The Devil) ..couldn’t they have just named him ‘Harry’??? Doncha think they are a little bit Extreme here!? Scarey!
And What Is Up With The Cookies Thang!? My Computer wanting cookies at 4am..What!!! Is It PMS-ing like me!!??? Now I gotta go running around getting Double Fudge Oreo’s for 2!!!

And Moving..Not that it is Any fun to begin with..but getting around this town is hell for a new comer…I mean..No One knows their own address to start..it’s ridiculous!! It’s bad enough to cannot find Anywhere round here past dark!! When people say ‘how lovely is is at night out here cuz you can see All the stars etc’..Yeh..they are right..But that is All you can see!!! In NYC I used to carry around extra RayBans in NYC..afraid I might spend just a tad too long at some after hours club..like ‘Save The Robots…on Ave C between 2nd + 3rd (that could be engraved on my Gravestone..I could babble out that addy in Whatevah shape I was in at 4am..when they opened!!) & be stuck in the Blaring NYC Concrete Jungle hailing some taxi Uptown like a The Vampire Lestat !!!
Here..I am sure to Always have at least 3 Hi Beam Halogen flashlights, my Hunting Knife/Dagger + a few Flareguns..just in case!! I mean..my poor VZ Navigator is so Clueless around here as it is..it’s pathetic…all is can bleep out 24/7 ..is that “You are approaching your destination’ (even if I am 5 miles away!) and in it’s calculations…Everywhere I am going is 5 minutes away! Not to mention all this Darkness stuff pushing Every One of my childhood fears of The Boogie Man..The Unknown…growing up in NYC the streetlights were my night light and even then I had 1 for my room…so here I find myself getting home after nightfall…more than slightly relieved cuz I Am Safe!? Safe From What?! The Unknown..The Monster Under The Bed…whereas in NYC I cld deal with a Mugger…or the concept of one..Here..Whadda my Gonna Do..You Cannot Mace Nature!!!!!

Now..I Gotta Get outta this House..I am Mischaga** (crazy) already dealing with trying to get These Multi Function Whatevah Machines all set up!! Gonna sit at Higher grounds…soak up some Idy Sun…chat with The People’s & have some of their yummy Couffee…& a Ciggie! :)
But 1st ..’The Hair & Nails’..I Cannot Go Out w/o ‘The Nails’…Okaaayy..I just feel too Vulnerable..Hey..I gotta look good for ‘My Public’ Right!? :)

More from The DB latah!! Love ya..Kisses..Brunch..MWAH!!